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by means of Caren Lissner
in case you’ve spent any time at the shore you’ve probably heard of these beach-enviornment radio stations with cutesy nicknames just like the factor (WJLK-FM and The height (WXPK-FM and The Breeze (WWZY-FM) blasting from the boardwalk, broadcasting from the seaside, splashed everywhere vehicles and billboards.
If stations had names that definitely represented New Jersey’s shorelines they’d be an awful lot more functional, and reflect the actuality of seaside existence. here are some we may additionally see actual quickly:
WTLS — The Tolls
WGSS — The Gross man donning Socks with Sandals
WUTL —The Uneven Tan lines From mendacity Out with Gold Chains
WVHU — The Volleyball That, If It Hits You again, Will outcome in Some Sorry-Ass young adults
WABU — The Airborne beach Umbrella That’s Coming to Pierce Your brain
WTSW — The Towel Shaker Who simply Shook out His Towel Beside You As a Breeze Went by way of
WSGA — The Seagull Who Assaulted Your little one Over a French Fry
WSPF —The SPF 4 Tanning Lotion That Makes You odor precise pleasant but won’t stay away from melanoma
WLBW — The Lifeguard Who always Blows His Whistle on account of That One guy Who Goes Out Too a ways
WTJB — The traffic congestion lower back to the Pennsylvania Border
WPCH — The Peach That just Fell within the Sand and obtained Gross and Sandy
WPTZ — The Pits
WSCP — The Couple appearing out tender Core Porn on Their Blanket
WHTF — The seaside Tag That appears to charge a bit Too tons for a Public aid
WPHP —The Pee in the resort Pool
WPHB — The Pee within the inn bed
WABB — The AirBnB You wanted to live at except They Tacked on $200 in expenses in case you Tried to order
WOBB — The historical growth container Blasting ninety The factor
WSSW — The adult making an attempt to Surf in Shallow Water the place youngsters Are enjoying
WSST — The souvenir shop trying to Get Your youngster to Pay Ten Bucks for a Seashell They might discover in the Sand
WHAV — The hurricane That’ll Arrive just In Time on your next vacation
WBHB —T he grownup Who convinced Us That broken Heineken Bottles within the Ocean are “Sea Glass”
WZOO —The Z-Zoo DJ’s Who nevertheless Have a few Listeners and consider It’s 1983 and any person Cares about How They as soon as Met Jim Morrison
WTMW — That moment should you Head again to the Room, think the solar Leaving Your skin, and comprehend it became an excellent Day
Caren Lissner is a novelist and former newspaper editor whose first booklet, Carrie Pilby, is a comedy film on Netflix.
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