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through Caren Lissner
if you’ve spent any time at the shore you’ve seemingly heard of these seaside-area radio stations with cutesy nicknames just like the factor (WJLK-FM and The peak (WXPK-FM and The Breeze (WWZY-FM) blasting from the boardwalk, broadcasting from the beach, splashed in every single place vehicles and billboards.
If stations had names that definitely represented New Jersey’s shorelines they’d be tons greater realistic, and replicate the certainty of seashore lifestyles. here are some we may additionally see real soon:
WTLS — The Tolls
WGSS — The Gross man donning Socks with Sandals
WUTL —The Uneven Tan traces From mendacity Out with Gold Chains
WVHU — The Volleyball That, If It Hits You once more, Will outcomes in Some Sorry-Ass young adults
WABU — The Airborne seaside Umbrella That’s Coming to Pierce Your brain
WTSW — The Towel Shaker Who just Shook out His Towel Beside You As a Breeze Went through
WSGA — The Seagull Who Assaulted Your child Over a French Fry
WSPF —The SPF four Tanning Lotion That Makes You smell actual great but won’t prevent cancer
WLBW — The Lifeguard Who normally Blows His Whistle as a result of That One guy Who Goes Out Too far
WTJB — The traffic congestion back to the Pennsylvania Border
WPCH — The Peach That just Fell within the Sand and bought Gross and Sandy
WPTZ — The Pits
WSCP — The Couple acting out smooth Core Porn on Their Blanket
WHTF — The seaside Tag That looks to cost a bit Too a whole lot for a Public resource
WPHP —The Pee within the hotel Pool
WPHB — The Pee within the inn mattress
WABB — The AirBnB You wanted to live at unless They Tacked on $200 in expenses in case you Tried to order
WOBB — The old increase box Blasting The aspect
WSSW — The adult trying to Surf in Shallow Water the place kids Are enjoying
WSST — The keepsake shop trying to Get Your youngster to Pay Ten Bucks for a Seashell They could discover within the Sand
WHAV — The typhoon That’ll Arrive just In Time for your subsequent vacation
WBHB —T he adult Who convinced Us That damaged Heineken Bottles in the Ocean are “Sea Glass”
WZOO —The Z-Zoo DJ’s Who still Have a few Listeners and feel It’s 1983 and any person Cares about How They once Met Jim Morrison
WTMW — That second if you happen to Head returned to the Room, suppose the sun Leaving Your epidermis, and know it was a fine Day
Caren Lissner is a novelist and former newspaper editor whose first booklet, Carrie Pilby, is a comedy movie on Netflix.
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